


A Longing for Normalcy

by AdenineTopaz



Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: AU, Aftergame, Angst, Comfort, Depression, Gay, Heavy Angst, M/M, Poly Relationships, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, minor fluff, really weird au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 10:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14542416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdenineTopaz/pseuds/AdenineTopaz
Summary: Norman longs for something, even though he can never have it.





	A Longing for Normalcy

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place in an after-game au where basically nobody had to die and they all escaped the studio and live on the surface. let me have my happy au.

     Today was an off day. Bendy and Henry were at work, so Norman decided to visit Sammy. Sammy welcomed him with open arms; of course he did, they were best friends.  
     Norman had to admit that, as he sat on the couch, he felt...tired, in a way. He felt sick of everything in general, and lately his mood was just low. He’d tried to hide it, tried to act okay, but Henry was smart, and caught on almost immediately. He had asked Norman what was wrong, and the Projectionist was very hesitant to tell him the answer. It was stupid. At least, that’s what he thought. Henry didn’t think so as he held him, Norman sobbing into his shoulder shortly afterwards. After that he’d had, what, three more breakdowns? Over the same thing. He was glad Henry was there for him, but it was humiliating.  
     He let out a deep sigh and propped his head up, his elbow resting on the arm of the couch. Through his muffled hearing he could tell Sammy was cooking something in the kitchen. It was around dinnertime, and it was almost time to eat. Well, it was time for Sammy to eat, anyway. Without a mouth, Norman didn’t have the ability to eat or drink anything. Still, as he looked towards the kitchen and saw Sammy standing at the stove, he felt longing in his gut. He physically was unable to feel hunger, but he supposed this was close enough.  
     His lens followed Sammy’s tiny movements as he shifted the pans on the stove, watching him like a hawk. He felt that tired feeling weigh down on him heavier, and he sighed again.  
     Sammy turned the stove off and poured his food onto a plate, then carried it to the dining table and sat down. Norman’s gaze still followed him, and soon enough he found himself getting up and walking over to the table, pulling out a chair, and sitting down next to Sammy.  
     The corrupted human was just starting to eat when he stopped and cocked his head. “Norman?”  
     “Yes?”  
     “You don’t usually join anyone when they eat.”  
     Norman was quiet for a few moments. “It’s fine.”  
     Sammy shrugged and continued eating. Norman faced the wall but focused on Sammy in his peripheral vision.  
     God, how he wished he could be like him. To be able to eat, at least. To not have a neck weighed down with a 35-pound projector. To not have a back in constant agony from the weight. To be able to laugh, talk, drink, kiss, breathe. Of course, he could do some of these things, but it was artificial. His voice was a sound produced through a speaker, and his breaths were taken through vents in his projector. Nothing was normal about him. About the way he operated.  
     He felt turmoil building within him, and he turned away. His vision was blurring with inky tears already. He had to calm himself down. He couldn’t let Sammy see him like this.  
     “Norman? Are you okay?” Sammy’s voice pierced the air like a pin poking a balloon, and Norman jumped.  
     “I-I’m...fine.” he choked out, his shoulders shaking.  
     Sammy put his fork down and furrowed his brow. “Norman, you won’t look at me.” he said.  
     “I’m fine. I’m f-fine. I’m fine.” repeated the Projectionist, slowly starting to crumble.  
     Sammy reached out and touched his back, and he jumped again. “Norman, what’s wrong?”  
     Norman whipped around and snapped, “Nothing, Sammy! Fucking nothing!”  
     Sammy reeled back, eyes wide.  
     Norman was breathing heavily, his lens trying to focus on the now surprised and somewhat scared corrupted human before him, his heart racing. “I...I’m sorry, Sammy, I d-didn’t mean...”  
     He felt a tear drip down the front of his projector. “I...”  
     He covered his lens and broke down then, heaving out sobs. Sammy reached forward and wrapped his arms around him, bringing his head into his shoulder.  
     “Shh, easy, Norman. It’s okay.” he whispered.  
     “No it’s not—!” cried Norman. “N-Nothing’s okay!”  
     Sammy reached under his wiring and rubbed his back, planting a soft kiss on his projector. “What’s the matter...?”  
     “It’s...it’s stupid...” Norman wrapped his arms around Sammy’s shoulders, feeling humiliated but not wanting to let go.  
     “Norman, if it’s got you this upset, it’s not stupid.” retorted Sammy.  
     “I...” began Norman. “I-I...”  
     He choked out a loud sob then. “I hate having this _fucking projector head!!”_  
     Tears flooded his lens and cascaded down the front of his projector, dripping down Sammy’s back as he cried. “I can’t eat, I can’t drink, I can’t kiss, I’m hard-of-hearing, my fucking voice is artificial and I breathe through goddamn _vents_ now! I just...”  
     He hesitated for a long time. “I hate living like this, Sammy. It’s miserable. I’m always in agony. Always in pain.”  
     Sammy’s grip on him tightened, Norman being hugged snug against his body. The corrupted human felt tears gathering in his eyes, and then they started to fall as well.  
     “Norman...w-what are you saying?” he stuttered.  
     “I hate...I h-hate being alive, Sammy. It’s nothing but pain.” sighed the Projectionist dejectedly.  
     Sammy broke down then, gasping and choking. “Oh god—does—d-does Henry know about this??”  
     Norman nodded.  
     “Norman...you’ve never t-tried to...”  
     “No. But I’ve thought about it. A lot.”  
     Sammy buried his face in his shoulder and sobbed. “I c-can’t lose you...I can’t live without you, Norman...”  
     Norman sighed again and nuzzled him, smearing tears on him. “Sammy, I won’t do anything. I just...it’s hard. Really hard.”  
     Sammy looked up at him. “I know. B-But you’ll get through this, okay? Me and Henry are here for you.” He kissed him beneath his lens. “Y-You’re not alone, okay? I love you, Norman.”  
     Norman nuzzled him again. “I love you too, Sammy.”  
     Sammy let Norman rest his head upon his shoulder, one hand stroking the side of his projector, fingers trailing along one of the vents. Norman felt exhausted now, too tired to talk or move or think, and he just let sleep overcome him in that moment. Sammy wasn’t sure how long they would stay in that position, but he was willing to do anything if it meant Norman got a break. He sighed and kissed his projector again, closing his eyes.  
     “It’ll be alright, Norman.” he whispered. “We’ll help you.”

**Author's Note:**

> oooooooooof yeah the more i reveal about my au the less happy it seems doesnt it


End file.
